By taking statistics of stepfathers and stepmothers, it was found by the United States Council on contemporary Families that there are 10 stepfathers in every dozen stepparents or 83.33% of stepparents are stepdads. Now that figure would have been less overwhelming if the Council had counted stepmothers who stayed outside the house their stepchildren stay in.
It happens sometimes that some stepmothers get into a relationship with fathers who have a scanty visiting routine, and this is largely a predominant situation. And it is important to realize that most stepmother or stepfathers do not go for the conventional procedure of marriage. Perhaps this has influenced the increase in the possibility of divorced couples reuniting and living happily ever after.
Which of the roles is more demanding? The Stepfather? Or the Stepmother?
At this point, our diplomatic comparison would take a new twist as I pose my own answer to the above question. My simple answer, however subjective, is “The Stepmother!” And I have sure got my reasons, which I will be generous with below:
• Guardianship Obligations—As a Stepmom, the duties of biological mother would automatically be vested on you. You eat up a larger chunk of the duties of guardianship as far the stepchildren are concerned. But what does the stepfather do? He goes out and fetches the daily bread of his family as usual even if he were not a stepfather.
• They suffer the possibility of Straining relationship—Of course some Stepmothers live away from the house their stepchildren live and so makes it difficult for them to establish a strong connection with the children, especially when their biological father pays visit ocassionally. This makes it difficult for the stepmothers to discharge their duties.
• Allegiance Dilemma—There is this unfounded natural feeling amongst most stepchildren that the more they associate and submit to the affections of their stepmothers, the more they trade the place of their biological mothers. This makes them try to reserve some of their commitment to the relationship, and this is a challenge stepmothers face.
Now, I must add that both stepmotherly and stepfatherly roles are to be commended. It takes care and love for all human beings for one to move in and fill a void left possiblity by some unfortunate event.
Suppose you are looking at your future as a stepparent, then you must run round the circle of plenty considerations and be certain you are prepared for it so as not to end up like most stepparents that do not make it to live happily ever after.
Factors that enhance effective discharge of Stepfatherly or Stepmotherly duties
A number of parameters promote success as a stepfather or as a stepmother. Three of them are considered below:
• Establish a Relationshipship—It is the role of the biological parent to blend the stepparent into the family. The children should be made to understand the status of the family and taught to respect it with their commitment. Both parent should demostrate unity and extend it to the kids.
• Mentor and Guard the kids appropriately—Very importantly you must paly a great parent role for the kids. Both of you as parents must make a good choice of an adequate approach to coach your children very well to ensure they are in good terms with both parents and are in fine shape in terms of character, health, and others. Unity between you and your partner is a complusory spice for a tastier stepparenting.
• Be open tolerate Mistakes—Some remarrying couples often get the feeling that the heels of experience can lift them high above mistakes but this notion is not so accurate. Having been in marriage or raised a child does not mean you have got a degree in step-parenting, it’s a new phase on its own that you should enjoy and learn from.
About the Author:
In 1995, Gerardo Campbell married his now ex-wife becoming the stepdad to her two children. In 2011, he started Support for Stepdads to reverse the nearly 70% divorce rate for blended families in the US. His website is to help and inspire stepfathers, aspiring stepfathers and the women who love them worldwide. You can follow Support for Stepdads on Twitter and Facebook.